COWABUNGA, DUDES!!

Enlisting in the Army is COOL!!

This was something I did for an illustration assignment, it's kind of the same idea as Gary the Hip Gap-hopping Kangaroo but this one's better because it'd be much much worse if it really existed.

The Nostalgia Critic

I really like The Nostalgia Critic. Even though he's another one of those angry internet guys that makes videos about how much some lame nerd thing no one cares about sucks balls, he's one of my favorites. He did this awesome review of Tom and Jerry The Movie that had me laughing to tears. He constantly compares himself to the Angry Video Game Nerd, but I like him better because there's just this extra sense of sincerity in his voice and expressions while describing his disdain for shitty nostalgic things that makes him just so much more hilarious to look at.

CAG

Control-Alt Delete is the worst. No, I take that back. It's the MORST.

The amount of shittiness in this comic has no limits. I could go on about the horrors of the comic's infinite unfunniness, that goes hand in hand with and is "balanced out" by the only slightly funnier dramatic parts that consist of miscarriages and long video game loading times (IT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR) but I'd really rather not and have you listen to someone who knows what they're talking about.

What I really want to complain about is the artwork. I mean, jesus. The only thing I can ever think whenever I see those hideous expressionless droopy-eyed designs is "How can you get away with this shit?"

Figure 1(above): 1/4 of a typical Control Alt Delete comic. (The other 75% is identical.)

With only one or two exceptions, wherever I go I appear to sing solo when I ask "What's up with their god damned mouths??" Here. Let me show you what a mouth looks like, for someone whose eyes are too droopy to see them and/or was too busy talking to give a shit.
I might not be the best artist, but I know enough about simple fingerpaints-level observation to know that mouths don't look like that. Alot of people do draw them like that, some argue that it's a just a cute stylistic thing they like to do, and that's ok if done dynamically. But in this case it just doesn't WORK. Their facial features don't flow, they POP!! Animating any of those characters looks like as much fun as putting my nuts in a vice.

edit:
I also made this video



WAHHHHHHHHHHHH VIDEO GAMES ARE MY WHOLE LIFE I'M GONNA GO MAKE A CARTOON ABOUT HOW HARD THEY ARE

I MADE LASAGNA

IT WAS SO GOOD

Those plumbers

Just the thought of them makes me queasy

My stuff on Youtube

Lately I've been particular to uploading videos Newgrounds because of the small file size and better community for Flash animation, but I still like being able to see stuff on Youtube that can be paused and fast-forwarded and stuff. Here's just a repost of all my stuff that I've made, and also posted to Newgrounds. Except for one film I made in 3D, that's only on Youtube.



Newgrounds Link




Newgrounds Link

Newgrounds Link

Newgrounds Link

Nobody remembers this show

The 1980's were pretty bad for animation. I'm sorry, they were. All of those awesome shows like Ninja Turtles? THEY SUCKED!! And yet, even though they were cheesy, had bad animation, poor writing, TOTALLY HIP characters with TUBULAR catchphrases, and especially the merchandising.. we love them, and fondly remember these treasures from yesteryear that spent more time with us as kids than our parents did.

So anyway, while wading through tons of ancient VHS tapes one day, I came across something called "Star Street: The Adventures of the Star Kids". It looked oddly familiar, maybe because I had seen it before or maybe because it reminded me of something I'd seen before. So I popped it into my VCR and watched it. I mean, honestly, it was ok. It's about these "Star Kids", each being a personification of the astrological signs. They look like pink yoshis with hearts on their noses. This one's Bubbles (Pisces)


It wasn't bad for a kids show. Not the best, but for some weird reason, I LOVE it.

It's well animated for a dutch 1980's kids show, the characters are simple but their designs are pretty cute, their expressions go beyond the limits of what their designs would let them go in a cartoon made today. It's kind of like the Smurfs, they're always under constant assault by a giant gluttonous purple blob in space who has an army of fat bumbling green dudes, it's also sort of like Care Bears but much less gay than it. Probably gayer than the Smurfs, though.

The show has some great moments, it's way better than most of the shit I watched when I was younger. It doesn't just teach kids bogus shit like "sharing is caring" and "drugs aren't cool", its themes are about teamwork and devotion, characters having internal conflicts all the time and stuff. I remember thinking the Pokemon show was pretty cool when I was about 10, this kind of reminded me of it because it's a fun and interesting concept where the characters try and fail and learn and grow, and help eachother through tough situations to outsmart the dumb bad guys. Not just like in the Smurfs where everything seems to go back to normal by act of God. I mean how fucking hard is it to destroy their stupid village? Gargamel's some kind of warlock and the Smurfs aren't smart or ingenuic or cunning at all.

Anyway, I'm too tired to critically analyze shitty late 80's early 90's childrens television. That's all for now.

GUNJANI!

Our hero has chosen to go out on a perilous journey of REVENGE. You can tell by the silhouettes and the evil smiles that he is not FRIENDS with those people behind him, quite the opposite!! The caption, clearly stating the entire plot of the story, destroys any subtlety there once was to the character, making him entirely transparent!! And yet, what does he want revenge for?? What did they do to him?? WHY DOES IT MATTER!?

FIND OUT WHEN THIS MARVELOUS FLASH VIDEO GAME ENTERS PRODUCTION!!!

UNLOCKABLE CONCEPT ART AFTER GETTING 3000000000000 POINTS ON HEAVY TRIAL MODEYOU CAN TELL HE IS A VERY DEEP CHARACTER FROM THE SWEATBAND
AND THE ? ON HIS SHIRT?! HOW ENIGMATIC!
Who are THESE colorful characters??
A GIRL bad guy? What an age we live in!!!

Random Junkcrap

Lots and lots of Junk and crap. Some of it's cartoon characters and original characters and inside jokes but it's ALL junk.

GRENDELA, THE WITCH!!

EHHHHHHHHH

chowser

Ever see that show Chowder? It's kind of fucked up. Or at least to me.

CHOOSEFEST '08

FINISHING THEIR WORLD TOUR IN WASHINGTON DC

CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND FIREHOUSES

Remember that When

I Swear This Is Real

With all the audio clips of celebrities reminding you to watch the gap, it was only a matter of time before they started targeting the children. They're the ones who could actually FALL in the gap.

Knowhattamean nudge nudge wink wink

I love Eric Idle. His face is now so associated in my mind with his hilarious songs and voice that I laugh whenever I see him. I drew this pencil drawing of him, it's kind of crummy but I put it off for a long time and drew it at midnight.

Yeah, it's Sculpey

While I should have probably been using the clay I bought for class.. for class, I made Killface from Frisky Dingo's head out of it. I haven't decided whether I will fire it, finish it, or mash it up and use it for school if I run out so enjoy it now. Drink it in!

You're fucked, Friendo

If this is what you see the next time you open a door, you are screwed. There is a 50/50 chance that he will give you a 50/50 chance to redeem yourself, but don't count on it. He's a real bitch.

If you haven't yet seen No Country For Old Men, check out the chilling trailer in which Anton terrorizes two young men.

Glen Wongustin

He just looks like a Glen, doesn't he?

Naked Monster Sniper

This is only one of my dreams.

The First Post Ever

I made this last night and early this morning in photoshop. I like how it came out, and some people called it disturbing, horrifying, and unnerving, which leads me to believe that I did a good job on it. It's drawn for the most part, with sponge, eye and several other textures from photos.